The Unbelievable Biscuit Factory


Although Haddie’s day starts usually with ‘hecks’ from her mother as she exercises, it careers sideways shortly afterwards. Although Normalton’s biscuit factory’s sirens are blaring warnings, its residents are accustomed to the sound. What’s more Haddie has a band practice to attend at the Community Centre. It’s where her guitar, El Jirafa Tremendo, lies waiting. Furthermore, the Community Centre has ‘toilets and plug sockets and Wi-Fi and a vending machine that sells pickled- onion- flavoured things’. What’s not to enjoy?

Actually, there’s not a lot of time to enjoy anything, for a couple of (invented) chords into Alpaca Waka Waka and there are unholy noises. What’s more they’re accompanied by the building caving in with the arrival of huge, orange, fluffy monsters. They’re closely followed by Biscuit Factory staff urging everyone that ‘there’s nothing to see here‘ and ushering them away. Although they say ‘everything’s all right‘ rather like the open-top red buses that gather up the Normalton residents, Haddie is not all right. Her guitar is trapped in the community centre. She’s being pacified falsely by a biscuit factory minion. What’s more it’s obvious there’s an emergency…

As Haddie investigates further, breaking protocol and gathering up an action- hero (rabbit) ManMan prepared to support her, her indignation and incredulity grow. Everyone in Normalton knows that the biscuit factory does not make biscuits, that it’s a science research factory. So what’s really happening, and how close is the emergency?

The Unbelievable Biscuit Factory is outrageous, clever, sharply paced and narrated by such a confident main character that we’re rather swept along! Yet gee, isn’t that a thrill? Bookwagon loves and recommends this (cookie) cracking story!

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The Unbelievable Biscuit Factory

James Harris


Haddie knows that Normalton centres around The Unbelievable Biscuit Factory. She knows the claims that ‘everything is all right’ are false. What’s more she knows that she’s seen enormous exploding orange fluff monsters barrelling through the community centre. Furthermore, it seems that their appearance has interrupted band practice. It seems that Haddie and George and Naomi are an outstanding band. It doesn’t matter that George doesn’t have drums, Naomi looks cool only and Haddie can’t play any real chords.
Yet with the appearance of a Code Five emergency, arrives crews from the biscuit factory to avert the disaster. It seems that everyone about says that they haven’t seen the fluffy monster, rather like they don’t see any other anomalies from the Biscuit Factory. Thereafter, it seems that Haddie has had enough. Being barred from collecting her guitar, El Jirafa Tremendo, ignites something in Haddie that will not ‘calm down‘. What’s more it seems she has high-hitting company in ManMan, an action hero rabbit.
So what is happening at the Biscuit Factory. It’s obvious it’s nothing to do with creating biscuits. Then again, why does everyone in Normalton pretend they do not know about the scientific experiments that are growing ever more progressively intrusive and obvious?
The Unbelievable Biscuit Factory has the gaslight sense of The Bigwoof Conspiracy alongside that book’s sideways humour. It’s similar to the wacky humour of My Headteacher is an Evil Genius or Uma and the Answer to Absolutely Everything in that any lucky reader will laugh out loud at some of the perplexities! Bookwagon loves this title’s daring, originality, construction and pace.


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